Please Don’t Ask Me How I’m Doing

Back in the 1970s, my father and his partner ran a small consulting firm. Their accountant, a man named Morty or Artie or some other name that conjures images of a perm, polyester, and a butterfly collar, charged by the minute. I think each minute cost a quarter, which sounds ridiculously low but in those days could buy a lot of polyester. Charging by the minute drove certain behaviors — as my father said, you quickly learned not to ask after Artie’s health. You called Artie, asked your question, wrote down the answer as he spoke, and hung up.

Today, we use Slack, Rocket.Chat, Skype, Mattermost, or some other chat software to fill the role that rotary phones did with Artie. Instead of picking up the phone, you open your chat client and type your question. You aren’t charged by the minute or the letter or the message, but you’re still incurring a cost on your target’s attention. Be more aware of that. I’m often pinged with “Hey” or “Good morning” or “Got a minute?” So I reply, “Hey” or “Good morning” or “Yeah” and I wait. Sometimes I wait seconds, but often I wait minutes, for a reply. That time for me is wasted. Indeed, that initial exchange is a waste. Don’t ask after my health! Just type your question. If I don’t reply, you can always copy and paste the question to someone else. And if more than one person can answer your question, why didn’t you post it to the appropriate channel in the first place, instead of as a direct message?